I’m incredibly fashionably late for the Wednesday post of the Fall Writing Frenzy Analysis for 2020 winners, but I think you’ll all agree it’s worth it when you hear why. We had a SUPER SUCCESSFUL potty training day yesterday! In between play time, we took LOTS of trips to the potty that were super successful, only one accident, and it was followed by Kiara saying, “Before we race, we should potty.” Well said, Kiara, well said!
Before we get going, I’m excited to share that I finally stumped you all again on the theme I chose last week, though just like every other time, I’ve loved your theme ideas so much, some more than the intended theme! It just goes to show how much brilliance these authors have in so many ways in their writing. Last week’s grouping of wonderful stories was by… inventiveness!
Please remember our rules for analysis:
Every week I will try my best to share 5-8 pieces from the Fall Writing Frenzy Winners that have something similar, a theme, if you will. (Figurative gold star if you get the theme in your comment ;))
Please use the comments to share what you think is working for the pieces and why, and you even what you think can be improved if you notice anything. Then you can respond to each other’s comments and of course come back to the blog on Fridays for interviews and giveaways!
Please make sure to be constructive.
We want to learn and grow together in a safe environment.
example, if you think a piece was rambling (something I often do lol) please don’t say, “They’re rambling forever, can’t they just stop?” Try, “It seems to be a bit on the wordy side, maybe consider cutting out certain parts.”
Thanks for joining in the conversation!
Without further ado, here is our second-to-last week of our Fall Writing Frenzy analysis of the 2020 winners!
Amma, Is Diwali here?
Your Sari rustles like the crisp fall leaves
Your braid swings with the autumn breeze
Your Bindi shines like the bright full moon
Your kohl-lined eyes look like lotus blooms
Your bangles jingle like a bird’s sweet song
The Puja bells ring as I clap along
Lamps alit, the night is full of cheer
Tell me, Amma, is Diwali here?
Ebony Lynn Mudd
If I’d only known then what I know now.
A month ago, things were so different.
The trees were in full bloom.
And so was my life.
Like these trees.
Like the hole left in my world.
In my heart.
Like the hole we put her in.
But if my feet had moved fast enough, I could’ve fixed it.
I could’ve stopped it.
I could’ve saved her.
That night, the branches snatched at my sleeve, trying to stop me.
The bark shivered with fear.
The wind howled with worry.
The leaves crushed under me with every desperate heavy-footed step.
Crushed. Like I was about to be.
When I turned the corner, I realized-
I hadn’t gotten there in time.
And if I had?
I would have witnessed it.
My worst nightmare.
Everything was stolen from me in the woods that day.
The trees tried to tell me.
If I’d only known then what I know now.
I would have answered her call.
A little leaf flat and green,
blended in, hardly seen.
It felt the sun warm all its veins,
and soaked in droplets from the rains.
It heard the songs all summer long,
from the aviary throng.
It felt the morning dew and knew
that warmth-filled days would say “adieu.”
October skies and chilly nights
turned leaves the shades of traffic lights.
Soon Autumn’s wreckful winds blew strong,
forcing leaves to float along.
The little leaf lost all its green.
Instead, a color in-between
red and orange became its cloak,
painted with a master’s stroke.
More leaves tumbled down each day.
They beckoned little leaf to play.
“Let go and do the Fall-ing dance!”
Little leaf said, “Not a chance!”
But after weeks of holding tight,
the little leaf let go one night.
It swirled and twirled and rode the breeze—
resting under maple trees.
It heaved a sigh, its one endeavor
was trying to stay around forever.
A young girl spotted little leaf.
“Look!” she cried in disbelief.
With pure devotion in her eyes,
she gave her mom the precious prize.
They framed and hung “leaf” on a wall.
He stayed forever after all
Sam uncoiled his glee and let his four legs spring leaps and bounds over the crisp snap and crackle of the ground. With his work vest off, he was ready to play. Nothing, not the mud in the in-between with its slips and slides, or the smell of treats from Sarah’s pocket could stop him from exploding into the freshly raked pile of waiting leaves.
All he needed was a…
Then, down the ramp, bounding in a wingless flight, Sam sprung feet first PLUNGE…CRASH…CRUNCH.
Waves of gold and crimson leaves burst into the damp gray afternoon air, alive with Sarah’s laughter-fireworks of joy-cheering Sam into wilder wiggles and squiggles. Blissfully burrowing deeper into the rainbow of fallen leaves Sam let autumn gobble him whole, until…
Then, up and out, Sam sprang onto the rise of the ramp, bringing with him treasures-broken bits and pieces of summer now dressed in rain and frost-for Sarah’s senses to devour. Pressing into the large wheel of Sarah’s chair Sam rested his chin on her armrest and waited while she hungrily explored the puzzle of textures and delicious scents buried in his fur.
Sam waited, until…
can’t wait to get this discussion underway about what we can learn from these creators and their pieces!
Kaitlyn Leann Sanchez
PS. I’m wishing you all a happy new year, and thanks so much for reading my blog. I can’t tell you how wonderful it’s been to get to know you all so much better by interacting with you here!